


Pronouns Out On The Porch

by smalltrolven



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Time, M/M, Schmoop, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-10
Updated: 2012-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-13 23:36:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smalltrolven/pseuds/smalltrolven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean’s What If? Daydream turns into a Conversation with a capital C with Sam, about buying a house for Sam to retire in, and what follows the conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pronouns Out On The Porch

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Inspired by a post I made on Tumblr about Dean and Sam walking into the house in the season 4 episode Family Remains. The story is set post season 6 though.  
> Warning: Spoilers aplenty for up to end of season 6  
> Disclaimer: Not my characters, just playing with them, thanks Kripke!

As they move up the steps to the porch of the big beautiful farmhouse to start their investigation, Dean can’t help but think to himself. “What if this was our home that we’d just bought?”  Not some hapless family’s that’s moving into a haunted house completely unaware of the horrors to come, but ours, and hopefully un-haunted thank you.  What if he was walking into it with Sam, for the first time together, (as in together together? That’s always the question he finds himself skirting around these days.)  He can just imagine making plans with him for the future, buying some furniture even, maybe even finding themselves settled and happy for once.

He knows he can’t let himself think that kind of thing though, because it isn’t ever going to happen.  That’s not how their lives will ever work. He doesn’t even know what Sam wants for his future or if he plans on staying around much longer.  But every now and then Dean lets himself indulge in just a little bit of daydreaming along this line of thought, figuring, who is it going to hurt, right?  He puts it all aside to concentrate on the job at hand, getting rid of an angry spirit, so this family they are helping can move into the house.

After the family is saved and ensconced in a local motel, the angry spirits (two of them surprisingly enough),  fully dispatched, Sam and Dean sit down together on the porch steps of the now empty house, drinking the last two beers out of their old green cooler.  It’s a beautiful early summer evening, dusk just starting to settle in, stars about to come out, a little breeze coming in over the waving cornfields. 

Dean sighs deeply and contentedly, stretches his arms wide until he feels his back crack satisfyingly.   
Maybe the contentment and beautiful setting is what makes him actually start the “what if?” conversation with Sam.  “Sure is nice out here.  It’s so quiet and peaceful now that the spirits are gone. Thanks to us, right?  Hey you ever think about living in a house like this?”

“What, a haunted house? No thanks.” Sam scoffs.

“No, duh, just a nice big house like this one, out in the country, but you’re right, hold the spirits though.”  Dean circles his head slowly feeling his neck crackle and pop, all that tension from fighting the two restless spirits releasing in a satisfying wave.  Wondering if continuing this conversation is a good idea or not.  Maybe he should stick to his usual M.O. of not talking about important, potentially girly shit like this.  But if anything the last few years has taught him it’s that trying to guess what his brother is thinking, much less daydreaming about is as useless as trying to get Bobby to put in freaking cable in his house.

“Well, sure, of course, I just don’t ever see it happening, not in real life, not for **us.** ” Sam says matter-of-factly, in that tone he uses when he’s despairing of ever having to not state the obvious for Dean every damned time. 

Dean turns sharply to look at Sam, eyebrows rising up slightly, “For **us**?”

Sam hears the surprise in Dean’s voice and turns to look at him more closely “Um, yeah, **us** , of course, **us** , isn’t that what **we’re** talking about?  You know like someday after **we** retire from hunting?”

Dean turns away slightly and smiles to himself.  “Yeah sure, that’s exactly what **we’re** talking about.  And by the way who says it can’t ever happen? “

Sam rolls his eyes and shakes his head “Hah! Who says?  Well, the Universe says, or God or the Angels and Demons or whatever else is pulling us around.  No breaks for you guys, you get the hard road.  No easy retirement for you in the cards.”

“Aw c’mon Sammy, don’t be like that.” Dean says, just a little bit pleadingly.

Sam can’t help but respond in snarky little brother fashion “Like what?”

Dean huffs, “Like you’ve given up on anything good ever happening for you.  God, I hate to hear you talk like that.   If I have anything to say about it, you’ll have a nice comfy place to retire.”

“Really Dean, you’ve actually thought about this?”

Dean isn’t sure whether to be offended at Sam’s surprise or not. “Sure I’ve even been trying to figure out where in the country would be the best place for **you** , wondering where **you’d** like to settle down, maybe try and buy a place cheap for **you** that can be fixed up little by little.”

Sam sits up straight and turns towards Dean waving his hands in a stopping motion. “Wait a minute, hold on, **for me**? What do you even mean?  What about **you** Dean?”

Dean ducks his head down and clasps the back of his neck, one of those tells that Sam knows very well, this one is for when Dean doesn’t want to say something, but is going to just because Sam is asking.  “Well, back when I started thinking about all this before, god I guess the Apocalypse, I didn’t think there was going to be a **“we”** anymore, not the way we were going.  And I was trying to figure out how to fix stuff for you in case something happened to me or so you had somewhere to go if we split up.”

Sam’s hands land on Dean’s shoulders, and he waits to speak until Dean is looking him somewhat hesitantly in the eye.  “I’m not interested in retiring anywhere by myself you know.  I can’t even picture that.  You know you’re stuck with me for life dude, right?  You’ve gotta know that by now.”

Dean’s eyes begin to widen until they crinkle at the edges, his smile is there for anyone to see.  “Um, so, guess I’ll switch around to **“we”** then, okay?”

Sam smiles and pats Dean on the neck gently, “Yeah, you do that.  But tell me more about **our** house, what kind of place are you thinking of?” He pulls his hands away and grabs his beer once more, taking a long sip.

Dean takes a pull off of his too, and gets settled into storytelling mode, instinctively responding to his little brother asking for yet another story to be spun out for his listening pleasure.  “Well, I figure one a lot like this, out in the country, near a small or medium size town.  The house has got to have a nice big porch, so we can sit out and drink beer, watch the sunset, or drink coffee in the morning.  And I liked all these big windows in all the rooms, didn’t you?  Really lets a lot of light in.  Hmmm, a nice big kitchen, so you can cook for me, bitch.  And hey, how about a laundry room, with a washer and dryer, so no more trips to the Laundromat for us. There will have to be at least one room where you can have all your books, because I know you’ll accumulate a lot of them, you can even call it the library if you want.  Of course there will be a garage for my baby, so I can keep her running. But nothing two story of course, since this is for when we’re old and rickety.”

Sam smiles even bigger and laughs just a little.  Dean looks over at him with a raised, questioning eyebrow, getting worried that Sam is laughing at his ideas for their dream house. “No, I’m not laughing at you jerk, I just like that you’re thinking of us getting old now Dean.  Remember not too long ago, when we’d both given up on that as a possibility?”

Dean manages to look at Sam both seriously and fondly, never releasing his eyes “A lot has happened since then Sammy.”

“Sure has Dean, sure has.” He smiles his wide and happy Sammy smile with the full-on dimples that Dean hasn’t seen in a really long time, and dips his head way down so it comes to rest on Dean’s shoulder.

Dean feels so good having him there, that he puts his arm around Sam’s waist and pulls him in closer, so that they’re snugged up shoulder to knee. They sit in a companionable, easy silence for a while.  Neither man moving, but both thinking, and thinking hard about this future they can see spreading before them. Both wondering what the other is thinking but hesitating to break the quiet to ask.

“Hey keep it down wouldja. I can practically see the steam coming outta your ears dude.” Dean says, reaching a hand over to squeeze at Sam’s knee.  “Always were such a damned noisy thinker” he grumbles mildly.

Sam clears his throat and says softly, “Thanks man.”

Dean turns his head and ghosts his lips over Sam’s temple, “You’re welcome, um, for what?”

“Uh, for keeping me out of my head.  I know I get stuck in there, a lot, especially lately after the wall coming down and all.  And, just, thanks for keeping me anchored here in the real world.” Sam puts his arm around behind Dean and squeezes him in a half hug.

“Sure, of course.  That’s me, weighing you down since 1983.”  Dean squeezes Sam back.

Sam lifts his head up and turns to look at Dean, “C’mon, you know that’s not what I meant.  You don’t weigh me down, not like an anchor.  Dean you’re the reason I’m still even here, all in one piece. “

“Whaddya mean Sam, all in one piece?” Dean looks at Sam with a slightly worried pinch around his eyes.

“Well, I know I didn’t tell you this whole thing, but when I was doing that reintegrating thing, after the wall came down, there was a choice I had to make, there was an option to stay in there.  But I had a conversation with my self that remembered Hell.  And he advised me to stay there, in my mind I guess, and go find Jess in my memories and be happy, that he didn’t think I was strong enough to handle the memories of Hell.  But I just, well I couldn’t.  I told him that he knew me, that he knew why.”

Dean searches his brother’s eyes, trying to figure out what he means, “Why would you choose to remember Hell Sam? Why did you come back out of your mind and put yourself through all that?”

Sam holds Dean’s gaze and says quietly “Well, as I told him, um, Hell-Me, I’m not leaving my brother alone out there.”

Dean inhales deeply and gives Sam another half-hug, and reaches over to stroke his cheek softly. “Thanks Sammy, for uh, for doing that for me.  I’m not sure what I would have done if you hadn’t come back to me.”

Sam leans into Dean’s touch, turns his head, kisses his open palm softly, hand curling and folding over Dean’s hand, so he can keep the kiss.   “Dean after what you did to get my soul back for me, actually dying, it really doesn’t seem like much.”

“I didn’t have a choice there Sam, I really didn’t.” Dean flexes his fingers and intertwines their fingers, squeezing Sam’s hand firmly.  They sit there together, looking into each other’s eyes, searching for confirmation, or acceptance.   Both becoming more keenly aware that they still each have an arm around the other’s waist, and are holding their other hands together.

“God when did we turn into a coupla chicks anyways?” Dean grins and shrugs a bit, doing his usual thing of trying to break the moment, get away from the intense emotions building up between them.  Anything to avoid too much connection, he knows that’s when everything is most at risk.  Most at risk of some closely held truths being revealed maybe before he’s ready.

“Guess it happened sometime in there after we both died, several times, went to Hell and Heaven and came back again.” Sam grins back at him, reluctantly letting the moment pass.

“So, yes then to us finding a house like this at some point?” Dean clears his throat loudly, withdraws his arm and hand, flexing the hand open and closed, looking at it closely, as if it were marked by a residue of Sam’s touch and kiss.

Sam decides he doesn’t want this moment to be over, it’s too easy to just keep not talking about this stuff, he doesn’t want it to build up into a thing between them, and he’s so tired of doing this one step forward, two step backwards dance that is their habit.   So he doesn’t withdraw his arm from around Dean’s waist, and continues to hold him close, pulling him in as Dean tries to pull away.

“Dean, yes, definitely yes to a house, I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.   I know we’ll make it happen someday.  And call me a girl if you have to, but I’m so damned happy right now, that we’re talking like this, that we’re making plans for our future.  I never thought we’d even get through to the other side of all that Apocalypse and Heaven and Hell crap, and here we are, still alive, still together.”

Dean squirms a little in Sam’s embrace, not trying to get away anymore but just trying to get comfortable with being held this long by his brother.  This time he’s the one that takes a chance at being called a girl, puts his head down lightly on Sam’s shoulder “Sammy you are my best girl, you know you are. I’m glad you’re happy, if all it takes is some talking than yeah, it’s a good thing, we should do it more I guess.  And uh, I’m glad I shared my daydream with you.  Ya know, about the house and all.”

“I really like knowing you’re daydreaming about us Dean. I really do.” Sam says softly into Dean’s hair.

“Oh God, here we go. Exactly who else am I going to daydream about?”  He twists apart from Sam looking up at him curiously.

“I don’t know, how about the really hot waitress from lunch yesterday that you were flirting with?” Sam clenches his hands as he misses them holding Dean.

“Nah, that isn’t my thing anymore.” Dean tries to say it nonchalantly, but he can’t quite pull it off, there’s too much hurt there to hide.

“What, you’re kidding me, my big brother isn’t into bagging as many chicks as possible?”  Sam attempts to cover up that he noticed Dean’s hurt by going for the joke, instantly regretting it.

“Hey! I haven’t been like that for a long while Sam, you know that!” Dean exclaims indignantly.

“I know, I know, calm down, I’m just giving you a hard time.  But you know I always wondered why that changed; I never understood why you stopped doing that.  I didn’t mind it of course, just seemed strange.”  Sam looks at him so curiously, so open, that Dean loses any anger that was welling up right away.

“Uh, well, it didn’t seem like the right thing to do anymore after the whole Apocalypse thing, and then I guess I just got out of the habit when I was living with Lisa.” Dean tries to shrug it off like it’s no big deal, bringing up his time with Lisa.

Sam sees the struggle Dean’s having with talking about this stuff, so he goes for a joke once again, “So my brother isn’t a man whore anymore, how about that.  I wouldn’t want to be settling down with one you know.” 

“Aw Princess, you know you’re the only one for me.” Dean tries to keep it on the same level, make it just a sarcastic joke, but there’s way too much feeling underneath those words, and Sam can’t help but notice.

“Good to know Dean, good to know.”  Sam grins over at him, his heart feeling lighter than it has in a long time, maybe since coming back from Hell.   Dean answers him back with a corresponding grin that lights up his eyes.  He guesses he’s getting away with this then, saying what he really feels without Sam giving him shit for it.  Maybe this talking thing isn’t so bad after all.

“You know, same goes for me of course.”  Sam’s look changes to one of absolute seriousness as he speaks.  Dean at first doesn’t get it, then his eyes widen as he accepts what Sam is saying to him.  A small knowing smile is on Sam’s face now, his eyes moving dark and heated over Dean’s face.  Dean doesn’t know what to say, so he does what seems right, and leans over and kisses Sam gently.

At first Sam doesn’t really respond, but then suddenly, he reaches up to grasp Dean firmly, pulling him in close, getting a hand on the back of his head and returns the kiss like he means it. Because boy does he ever.  This is what he’s wanted for so long and here it is, practically in his lap, and it’s Dean and he’s giving this to him, and it’s so good, so much better than he’d ever thought. Those lips he’s always wondered about, so much softer and more agile than he’d ever let himself imagine.  Sam moans into Dean’s mouth, not realizing he’s making this unrestrained noise.   

Dean pulls back, hands coming up to hold Sam’s face gently and quickly searches it for clues, that this is alright, that this is what Sam wants and needs. They are finally on the same page right? “Alright there Sam?”

Sam nods and the darkness in his eyes intensifies, searching to see if the same is in Dean’s “Yeah Dean, definitely.”  He leans back in to take Dean’s mouth once again, this time opening up first, tongue searching, swirling through, tasting the beer and the underlying taste of Dean.  Finally he knows it for real, what his brother tastes like and his heart feels like it is expanding and overflowing.  There’s this unbridled joy thrumming through him now, and he didn’t think he’d get this chance, thought he’d be stuck in Hell with no Dean ever again, and he’s so glad and he’s making all sorts of promises to himself to not screw it up when Dean stops again, mumbling against his lips heatedly  “Sam, Oh God, Sammy. Always wanted this, never thought, never thought you’d.”

Sam responds by kissing his way up Dean’s cheekbone, over to his ear, whispering “always, me too Dean, always.”, then sucking and biting at his earlobe, smiling when he hears the deep groan that produces from his brother, finally arriving at that soft patch of skin right behind his ear.  The one place he’s always wondered about, sitting there in that passenger seat all these years, seeing this place on his brother and wondering, what if? What would happen if he ever got to kiss him there?  And now he is, so he sucks and he bites and feels the blood come up, heating Dean’s skin, whose moans are getting louder and longer.  “What’re you doing to me Sammy, god, feels so good.”

“Just what I always wanted to Dean, what I always wanted.” Sam comes back to Dean’s lips, licking all around them softly, pulling in his lower lip to bite it gently.  Dean’s hands are tangled up in Sam’s hair now, pulling and stroking, scratching and petting.  He pulls Sam’s head back so that he can get at his neck, coming down to suckle and bite all the way to where his neck meets his shoulder, and that’s where he leaves his mark, growling a bit as he sucks and bites so hard until Sam can’t help but gasp.  “There, that’s what I always wanted to do, now everyone will know.”

“Know what Dean?” Sam groans out, his head is still back and loose, he’s lost so much control after all this affection and kissing, overwhelmed at his idle daydreams finally coming true.

“They’ll know that you’re mine.” Dean says heatedly, looking Sam right in the eye, challenging him to just try and disagree.

Sam’s eyes widen as he takes in this challenge, and then soften “Yeah, wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea would we?” bringing his face back up to Dean’s, taking his lips again until they are both panting just  to get some air. 

“Dean we should, should, oh gah.” Sam can’t speak, because Dean is running his hand up his inner thigh, making all the blood rush to his groin, he gasps with how hard he gets, so fast, hasn’t been like this, ever.

“hmm, Sam, what should we do?” Dean whispers and grins against his neck, hand trailing up over the now prominent bulge in Sam’s jeans.

“that, oh you fucker, uh, keep doing that.”Sam squirms and can’t help but arch up into Dean’s touch.

“uh huh, sure Sam, sure thing.” Dean pops the button on Sam’s jeans and starts to slowly lower his zipper, reaching in to feel the soft skin of Sam’s lower belly, tickling through the line of hair, just rubbing his knuckles back and forth gently.

 Sam blows out his breath in a big gust, “oh Dean, don’t stop, please.”  Dean taps him on the butt and Sam gets the message to lift up so that Dean can pull his jeans and boxers down. Now he’s exposed, sitting here on this deserted farmhouse porch with his brother. Somehow right where he’s always wanted to be. 

Dean pushes him in the middle of his chest so that he’ll lie down.  He rises up above Sam crawling over to put his face at Sam’s navel, reaches out his tongue to swirl around and around. 

“guh, ahh Dean.” Sam slams his head back down onto the porch at this wild desire that’s overtaking him.  He reaches down and puts his hands in Dean’s hair, raising him up so he can meet his eyes.  Dean winks, fucking winks and goes right back to licking his way down the trail of hair around to the side of Sam’s cock.  He stops and presses his nose into the dip where leg and groin meet, breathing in Sam’s earthy, musky scent.   Then he starts up again with licking, and sucking in this one spot over and over again, leaving another mark, this one just for them to see.  “Sam you look so good with my marks on you, god, can’t stop.”

“Don’t want you to, ever, please, just, uh, more please.”  Sam can’t believe he’s begging like this already, but his brother steadies him.  “I gotcha Sammy, don’t worry, we’ll get there.”  He starts in licking at the base of Sam’s cock, which is so thick and hard, jerking and bobbing as he licks down to Sam’s balls, sucking each one gently into his mouth, rolling them around, then licking a stripe all the way from root to tip.  Sam gasps and thunks his head again on the porch. 

“Dean ohgod Dean!”  Dean takes him all the way in, as far as he can get anyway, there’s a lot more of Sam than he’d thought there’d be and it’s been a long time since he’s done this.  Hollowing out his cheeks, sucking hard and swirling his tongue, bobbing up and down, getting a rhythm going.

 Sam’s hips start bucking up uncontrollably, so Dean holds him down, fingers on his hips, nice and tight, sure to leave even more marks.  “Easy tiger, I gotcha.”  He goes back to the rhythm and feels Sam’s balls tightening up, even more precome landing on his tongue, he sucks a little harder, feels Sam stiffening even more.

 “can’t, ohgod,I’mgonna.” Sam pulls on Dean’s hair, to warn him or to pull him off, but Dean grins around Sam’s cock, goes back to business and then he feels Sam’s release hit the back of his throat, filling him to overflowing with the taste of bitter, salt and Sam.  He can’t believe he finally got to find out what this would be like.  He keeps swallowing and sucking, licking Sam softly clean once he’s done. 

He sits up wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Grinning down at his absolutely wrecked brother “damn, you taste good.”

Sam grins and pulls him down for a kiss, licking the taste of himself out of Dean’s mouth.  “Dean, mmmm, thanks, wanna, do you now.”  Dean rolls over onto his back and looks up expectantly widening his legs, presenting himself to Sam’s wandering eyes as if to say “Have at me then.”

Sam smiles, then zeroes right in on Dean’s crotch, softly biting down his length which is still covered in jeans.  Dean presses up into his mouth and groans, “Sam you’re ohmygod you’rekilling me.” Sam chuckles and just undoes Dean’s jeans, pulling them down along with his boxers as quick as he can manage.  Dean wraps his hands up in Sam’s long hair. 

“Dean, god, so beautiful.”  Sam looks at him with so much heat and desire that Dean feels a flush begin in his cheeks and go down his chest, Sam pulls up his shirt and runs his hands back and forth between his nipples, leaning in to suck and bite gently at them, hand encircling and stroking Dean’s now glistening cock. 

Dean almost bends up in half with the sensation, so much all at once.  “Sam, shit, uhhm, feels so good, please, oh please.”  Dean can’t believe he’s now the one begging but he is and he doesn’t care, it’s overwhelming how good this feels, so much want and need coursing through him, and Sam just giving himself over like this.  He can’t stand it, how good it feels, how right.  He looks up to see Sam watching him, with all those same emotions mirrored in his gaze.  Sam reaches down to claim his mouth again, searching deeply, tongue fucking him relentlessly now as his grip on Dean’s cock tightens and quickens.  He’s waited too long for this, it’s been too long and now he’s there, he’s coming, spilling over Sam’s hand, painting his belly with hot strings of come with Sam’s name on his lips. 

Sam gentles his touch as he slows down, petting him, then leaning down to lick Dean completely clean.  “umm, you know, you taste really good too.”  He smiles down at him and can’t help but lick his own hand clean of Dean’s come slowly and deliberately, enjoying the taste of every last drop.  Dean’s eyes light up with lust and amazement.  “Oh god Sam, I can’t, can’t even.”  He grabs Sam and pulls him down on top of him, seizing his mouth again, grasping at his ass, pulling him in so tight, not wanting to ever let him go again.

“Hey, hey you okay?”  Sam gasps out, trying to push up from Dean’s sudden too-tight embrace, worrying that he’s squishing him too much or that something’s gone wrong.

“Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that. Way better than just okay.” Dean murmurs and pulls Sam back down for another kiss, not wanting him to see his face, to see his sudden tears, trying to slow down everything to such a tender pace that Sam won’t ever get up off of him.

But of course he does, knowing him so well, Sam pulls up and carefully searches Dean’s face, collapses down over on his side off of Dean, and leans over to lick up the trails of his tears, asking softly “Those taste happy to me, they are right?”

“Yeah Sammy, definitely happy.  No worries there man.” Dean smiles warmly up at Sam, just waiting to see what he’ll do next, hoping he won’t get shit for crying after whatever the hell all that just was.  Oh yeah, having sex with his brother.

Sam pins Dean with his most intense, yet still loving look, “Good because, I gotta say this, please just let me say this, I really love you Dean, I’m in love with you.  Have been for a long time now and I think this” he gestures between himself and Dean “is the best damned thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Dean wasn’t expecting that, not lying half-naked on some stranger’s front porch, empty beer bottles lying next to them.  But in this half-light, here in the post-sex softness between them, it feels right to finally hear it so clearly from Sam.  He feels as if a healing balm has been laid over his heart, giving him the strength to  lean up to kiss Sam softly and say  “Me too Sam, me too.”

They lie back together, both of them stunned silent with happiness, just holding hands looking out at the slowly darkening sky for a while.  Dean feels his newly warmed and healed heart slowing back down to its normal rate and looks over at Sam, his brother, his lover now, finally and feels as happy as he ever can remember being.  Sam feels his gaze as if it’s real warmth on the side of his face and turns towards Dean, smiling “Should we get out of here or what?”

Dean sighs and squeezes his hand, “Yeah, guess we better, let’s do it.” And gets up slowly, gathering himself back together, pulling up his jeans, zipping back up, scooping up the beer bottles.  They head down to the Impala, getting in on their usual sides, doors slamming closed in unison.  Sam gets himself comfortable in the passenger seat, as the engine’s familiar rumble starts, looking over at Dean in the light from the dashboard.  He can really see that darkening mark that he put behind his brother’s ear, and it makes him smile. 

“What’re you smiling at now?” asks Dean catching Sam’s eye out the side of his own.

“Just what I always wanted, it’s all right here.” Sam reaches for Dean’s hand, holding on tight, as they drive off back to the highway, turning west for their next job.

~FIN~


End file.
